tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63490120176491584472024-02-07T07:29:46.938-06:00Brain Cells & Bubble WrapLiving & writing take brain cells & bubble wrap: one to collect experiences, one to survive. ~ Vivian ZabelVivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.comBlogger398125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-72027121934875547562020-02-22T12:38:00.003-06:002020-02-22T12:39:11.190-06:00The Need to Write or How Life Interferes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Drx_OFcDvNnjVNwcq7-XXXJKkuJRlhSwuNmhzQXyKsaKgXasGO-FQn6JPoDrPDh74mWtwmaDZrDT91wnU2jgsAvTyqJqoYL7E8LuJnW9tqiI722VEdBhbZoqx6sic4Je2hupxJVH7Is/s1600/2-2019+banner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="145" data-original-width="780" height="59" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Drx_OFcDvNnjVNwcq7-XXXJKkuJRlhSwuNmhzQXyKsaKgXasGO-FQn6JPoDrPDh74mWtwmaDZrDT91wnU2jgsAvTyqJqoYL7E8LuJnW9tqiI722VEdBhbZoqx6sic4Je2hupxJVH7Is/s320/2-2019+banner.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Why I Must Write<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">or How Life Interferes </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Every book I write runs like a movie in my head until it becomes a manuscript ready for review, editing, and revision. Living with a continuous movie causes a great need to get that manuscript written. However, life does not always cooperate, no matter how demanding the movie becomes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I started my historical suspense, mystery, romance <i>Burnt Offering </i>two years before my husband died. At least, the movie in my head began. To be sure the factual parts of the story agreed with actual facts, I researched life, culture, religious practices, the worship of the idol Moleck, and other necessary items from the 8th Century BC for a year, and the writing done during that time included tons of notes. One interesting side note, Moleck can be spelled multiple ways, but I chose one to use in the book. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> As I researched, the movie continued. I would awaken at night with the story rolling through my head. During the last part of my husband's life, his care demanded more and more of my time, and <i>Burnt Offering </i>had to wait. But, it refused to wait in my head. The urgency to write the story built until I had to take time out of the night, when I should sleep, to write another section. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> When Robert died the end of March 2015, the book became my obsession, perhaps saved what sanity I still had. I wrote, rewrote, read, edited, revised, wrote more, checked my notes, wrote more. All this time, the movie continued. It might change a bit as I discovered facts that made a difference or a character decided he or she wanted a change (other authors will understand). However, the movie would not let me forget my job -- write that book and hurry.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Finally, April 2, 2019, <i>Burnt Offering</i> became a reality, and the movie ended.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Two months ago, I discovered a three-ring Rawleigh notebook that held a manuscript I began writing in the late 1960s, early 1970s: some pages typed on my old manual typewriter, some pages still handwritten. I read the words a younger me wrote over 45 years ago and liked the story. I wanted to enter those words into my computer, finish the story, and discover the final project's worth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> A folder on the computer held three chapters before problems reared their ugly heads. Oh, not with the story or the manuscript but with life interfering with my work time. I still managed to take a fifteen-to-twenty-minute writing time every day (as best-selling author Jodi Thomas says every writer must do), but the short periods of time didn't slow the movie's demands. Life didn't slow its demands, either.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> 4RV Publishing's authors, editors, illustrators, projects, and problems: All needed attention NOW. Poor health taxed my energy and concentration ability. Living alone (except for a black cat named Panther, who also required attention) meant I must fix or do all meals, cleaning, and other necessities. Still, in my head runs a different movie, the one triggered by the found manuscript. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Yes, I MUST write because of an inner urge, demand, requirement, but life does get in the way too often.</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">To find my books go to the new site for <a href="http://4rv-publishing-llc.mypreview.site/vivian-zabel.html" target="_blank">4RV Publishing</a> for the best deal. They can also be found on other online stores such as walmart.com or amazon.com and through brick and mortar bookstores.</span></span></i></div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-83109749260735946242019-12-29T13:49:00.004-06:002019-12-29T13:51:31.988-06:00Here comes 2020 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtjWolw22bots18Wwy8D10zTzs405C9kOGl7ZPBmSnYVefAbAAyNSFi6xmiRdfIPVr42zXKX2lId8u_B7m2PVQhVu9eI0ShtJfheJF1Zx-69kJaRt9gFMABTe0fTGIgeUGvFkwW047YAI/s1600/writing+idea.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="208" data-original-width="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtjWolw22bots18Wwy8D10zTzs405C9kOGl7ZPBmSnYVefAbAAyNSFi6xmiRdfIPVr42zXKX2lId8u_B7m2PVQhVu9eI0ShtJfheJF1Zx-69kJaRt9gFMABTe0fTGIgeUGvFkwW047YAI/s1600/writing+idea.png" /></a></div>
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<span data-offset-key="fsn9f-0-0"><span data-text="true"> I've been fighting with time flying by and editing and writing and health and ... well, I've not been promoting or keeping up with my blog. Shame on me. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and are prepared for a good 2020. I don't do resolutions, but I set goals. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> My first goal is to complete a novel I began over 35 years ago (that ages me, huh) and just found last week. I had typed a few pages on my old Royal standard typewriter, and the rest is in longhand. I never finished the book, but as soon as I read what I finished, the whole story returned to my mind. I will update my progress as I work my way to the finish of <i>Violent Cycle</i>.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> As a child of a man who had a temper he couldn't control, or wouldn't, I know the fear and helplessness felt by those who suffered from violence. Later, I learned that my dad was bipolar, which called manic-depressive then, which didn't help his self-control. As a result, I vowed not to abuse my children, if and when I had any, but I didn't know how to avoid hurting them. I knew enough to realize child abuse passed from generation to generation, and I did not want to continue the pattern.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> I prayed many times for a solution during my teen years. Then, an answer came: Never touch a child if I were angry. So when the time came I had children, I sent them to their rooms if I were angry because of something one did or was angry about something else. When I controlled myself, I dealt with the child and the situation. I tried to be a good mother, but I found other ways to fail (another story).</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> My husband also came from an abusive home, but his situation was much worse than mine. He tried so hard not to be physically abusive, but he developed Parkinson's which often includes a horrible rage -- Parkinson's rage, but no one warned us about that until long after we discovered it through experience. I would often place myself between him and a child. My husband didn't know why he had this explosive rage, but he did begin to recognize when it began to build. When he felt the start of the anger, he went off by himself until the rage passed, but by then, the damage had been done. Understanding and forgiving doesn't erase the scars left behind.</span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> As a result, I have an interest in destroying child abuse. The novel concerns how and why the problem continues through a family line. </span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="cvi7-0-0"><span data-text="true"> I will share other goals for 2020 in the upcoming weeks.</span></span></div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-49102429783865377362019-08-21T15:12:00.004-05:002019-08-21T15:12:55.379-05:00Burnt Offering Given 5 Stars by Readers' Favorite<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFbLkR0ZnW25chKxXYjeKQU7vCAMFiuM52I1IJ0CxvaGWMyG9-pvUAOgFosNQsLVTlHyh8dMFmZof6j4VwS5M2Lc7ZEjMGRWluWrMlO0o00iWG-j42WIe9xevEg6Y6bK9QNJWLvLh-Rkx/s1600/Burnt+Offering+3D+promo.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="963" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFbLkR0ZnW25chKxXYjeKQU7vCAMFiuM52I1IJ0CxvaGWMyG9-pvUAOgFosNQsLVTlHyh8dMFmZof6j4VwS5M2Lc7ZEjMGRWluWrMlO0o00iWG-j42WIe9xevEg6Y6bK9QNJWLvLh-Rkx/s320/Burnt+Offering+3D+promo.jpg" width="269" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><i> Burnt Offering</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">reviewed by Trudi LoPreto for Readers' Favorite</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"> Hadara is the daughter of a rich
Egyptian and married to Tzabar, a cruel and conniving man. King Ahaz of
Judah believed in idols and not the one true God. He and Tzabar,
together in their evil ways, killed children by placing them in bronze
idols and burning them alive. This caused many to flee and hide to
protect their children and their religious beliefs. Hadara left the home
of Tzabar in the middle of the night, taking her son and others of the
household and she did her best to protect all of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"> <i>Burnt Offering</i> has much
romance as each person finds love and marries but there is much danger
as well. There are those worshipers of the idols and those who believe
there is only one God and are ready to fight to prove that their beliefs
are the right ones. When Hezekiah, who has been in hiding for many
years, becomes the new king, many changes take place, but the fighting
and killing still continue.<br /> <i>Burnt Offering</i> by Vivian Zabel takes place in the eighth century,<br />beginning
in 720 BC. The story brings the Old Testament alive and depicts a way
of life so very different than anything we can imagine. There are many
characters in this book and each plays an important role in telling the
story. Burnt Offering has enough suspense and romance to keep you
reading long into the night.<br /> Vivian Zabel is a master of words and turns them into vivid pictures as she takes us very far back in time. <i>Burnt Offering</i>
fits into so many genres that I can only say I do not think there is
anyone who will not enjoy reading this book. It is a page-turner.</span><br />
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-5014281968841512962019-08-08T14:33:00.001-05:002019-08-08T14:35:17.438-05:00Newest Novel, Burnt Offering<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVARdSRfONpmM7FVE0DMWWLzdA3O7NNLmiCFNiiz7Rp-rhotbzNtdONQjMeIYFpJA9QaINVVy2GrpIRWjd8DOX68WWAxQosHmf1c1YBMSyL9ycEiv7ACYMvm7SVpK5j7t3i2GZNxbavLA/s1600/Burnt+Offering+3D+promo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="963" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVARdSRfONpmM7FVE0DMWWLzdA3O7NNLmiCFNiiz7Rp-rhotbzNtdONQjMeIYFpJA9QaINVVy2GrpIRWjd8DOX68WWAxQosHmf1c1YBMSyL9ycEiv7ACYMvm7SVpK5j7t3i2GZNxbavLA/s320/Burnt+Offering+3D+promo.jpg" width="269" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;"> A modern tale set in ancient times, <i>Burnt Offering</i> contains suspense,
romance, and a problem found still today, the sacrifice of children
through neglect, abuse, and murder.</span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /> Judah, 8th Century BCE,
King Ahaz sat and watched his own infant placed in the hands of a
red-hot bronze idol. He heard the child’sscreams over the beating of 100
drums. He watched the child turn red, then black as it burned alive. He
smelled the odor of burnt skin. Yet, he and his followers did what
Moleck wanted, killing their own children.</span></span></div>
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After two years of in-depth research and over four years of writing, re-writing, editing, revising, I sent the manuscript to six different editors, all who set high standards. I revised the manuscript after each edit. I found other places that needed tweaking and polishing. A year later, the imprint editor did her final edit, and I did the final revision. The manuscript went to the design department, and a few weeks later, I had a proof for final editing, and few changes were needed. The files for the cover and interior uploaded at the printer. </div>
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I held the book in my hands and thought, "How powerful." The cover, created by Aidana WillowRaven couldn't be called beautiful, but it was powerful. The amount of work to make the idol reflect the fire, the effect of evil she created with her art work took my breath away.</div>
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Reviews of the manuscript by William Bernhardt and Stan Toler encouraged me, and the reviews since gladden my heart. The reviews posted on Amazon make me feel that readers are enjoying my book. </div>
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Copies can be ordered on the <a href="http://4rvpublishingcatalog.com/Vivian-Zabel---Novels.php" target="_blank">4RV Online Bookstore</a>, through brick and mortar bookstores, and other online providers. </div>
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<br />Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-24178166527710549102019-08-05T13:27:00.001-05:002019-08-05T14:03:27.289-05:00Frustrations Trying to Learn New Things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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After being pushed into starting an author's page on Facebook, I find many things to do, things I don't understand and can't find. I have a hard time learning new things as I age, and, yes, I am getting older every day. That means every day I find new things, especially technology, more difficult to conquer.</div>
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Therefore, I need to stop allowing people to talk me into doing new things for several reasons:</div>
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1. I don't want to take the time and mental energy to figure out something that isn't necessary.</div>
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2. If someone isn't willing to guide me through all the steps more than one or two times, I don't have to do it.</div>
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3. I need to use my time and energy (which is very limited) on my writing and helping others in the areas I do understand and know.</div>
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4. If new things are not worth the frustrations involved, then I don't need new things.</div>
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Now, if I can persuade certain people that I don't need an author page on Facebook that looks professional, that I don't need to know how to run a WordPress website, that I don't need to tweet every time I change the sheets on my bed, that I don't need ... whatever new thing that takes more time and energy than what I can spare, then I will be better off, at least for a day or two.</div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-23234089465152279602019-08-04T18:45:00.001-05:002019-08-04T18:45:38.312-05:00Life Gets in the Way of Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYFIqe3-jmaZBZTLJ6Lu-VCTScnOWFtjzXoOzc66sLS8vlABkR2LxHdefedtD52TefOB9HO73KW7utTIukWYGXO5KAMyHQuJ8n9H9YZu8i80QH2h4P45VoMcdk9psvD1JMgrSwxiL9vk/s1600/photo+by+Yvonne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="620" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYFIqe3-jmaZBZTLJ6Lu-VCTScnOWFtjzXoOzc66sLS8vlABkR2LxHdefedtD52TefOB9HO73KW7utTIukWYGXO5KAMyHQuJ8n9H9YZu8i80QH2h4P45VoMcdk9psvD1JMgrSwxiL9vk/s320/photo+by+Yvonne.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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We often have such good intentions for updating our blogs, working on important projects, calling friends, and other things that life pushes aside.<br />
<br />
One excuse I have for letting my blog slide is the work involved in finishing my historical novel <i>Burnt Offering</i>. Between running 4RV Publishing and doing revisions of the novel (had six different editors tear it apart), I let my blog whither on the vine, so to speak.<br />
<br />
However, the novel went through all the process everyone else's does: submitted, sent by an imprint editor to an acquisition editor anonymously for evaluation, survive the full editing process (as I stated above, I had six different editors), do proof edits, and then wait for that book baby's birth.<br />
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After the book arrived, friends held a book celebration for me June 29, 2019.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTh_jReeuWdrHYGTfn35cME4Wap-vI3yj3C7P_MfohQgauDlmUY8_KSDAMpfEPSMYpvveNsBEpJ90uoOVX0FJRQXu2IxBcA0Z6p-TTuAYvDrPsnYM7wOQsDZwNaHOkcmE5WDmWiFXFvw4/s1600/online+invitation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1220" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTh_jReeuWdrHYGTfn35cME4Wap-vI3yj3C7P_MfohQgauDlmUY8_KSDAMpfEPSMYpvveNsBEpJ90uoOVX0FJRQXu2IxBcA0Z6p-TTuAYvDrPsnYM7wOQsDZwNaHOkcmE5WDmWiFXFvw4/s320/online+invitation.jpg" width="244" /></a></div>
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Now, I finished celebrating, and the time to pay attention to other things, such as my blog and writing other books. I'm now concentrating on children's books and my autobiography (good sleeping material for sleepless nights, better than any prescription).<br />
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-54820515077024522622017-08-17T17:49:00.000-05:002017-08-17T17:49:02.112-05:00Promote Yourself First<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> <span class="cblue"><span style="font-size: 1.25em;">Before writers have books to promote, they need to build an interest in themselves, according to Joan Steward, The Publicity Hound [blog and various email Tips of the Week]; Brian Feinblum [The Writer, September 2017, page 16-19, “Promotional Pitfalls”]; Kirkus Reviews [kirkusreviews.com]; Author
Unlimited [authorunlimited.com]; and Brad Phillips @MrMediaTraining. <br />
Allow me to share some of the tips the sources above have given, mixed with a few ideas and thoughts of my own.<br />
</span></span><br />
<br />
</span></span><br />
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /><div align="center">
<b><span style="font-size: 1.50em;">Promote <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Your Book</span> Yourself</span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 1.25em;"><br />
<br />
Before authors promote a book, they should promote themselves.
Of course, if a writer hasn't promoted herself yet, doing so can occur
after the book, but promotion should first be about the author.<br />
<br />
Often writers wait too late to promote themselves. Joan
Steward says authors should become "experts" and build a personal base
before promoting a book. Nonfiction writers have a built-in topic about
which to write articles or present workshops: the theme or sub-themes of
the future nonfiction book. However, fiction writers can also be
experts, if they have researched information for their books correctly.
For example, research for a book dealing with kidnapped children can
create an author who is an expert on the aftereffects of being kidnapped
on the children and families; what steps to take to find kidnapped
children; or how to survive being kidnapped or having a child kidnapped.
<br />
<br />
Authors who have studied and developed their own writing
expertise can share their knowledge of writing and become an expert on
writing. But, that expert level should probably come after proving
through being published that they know the subject. To gain more
knowledge about writing, a person can attend classes, workshops, and
conferences about writing. He/she can read articles and books about
writing, keeping the knowledge that usable and deleting the rest.<br />
<br />
Another way authors can promote themselves and create
themselves as experts is to create cheat sheets and checklists. Joan
Stewart, the Publicity Hound, states the following: "Readers love chunks
of information they can digest easily in just a minute or two. That's
why they're wild about cheat sheets and checklists. These powerful
one-page PDFs are like digital crow bars that can pry an email address
out of a website visitor faster than any other lead magnet you might
offer." She goes on to say: </span><span style="font-size: 1.0em;"><br />
<br />
Checklist/cheat sheets can be released before the
book for promotion or used in a the appendix of a book or both. These
lists don’t have to be about serious topics. Be helpful and have fun.<br />
<br />
Five examples:<br />
1. Create a checklist of advice from your main
character on how to overcome a challenge or solve a problem mentioned in
the book. <br />
2. Offer a cheat sheet for tourists who want to
visit the city, state, region or country where your novel takes place.
If your book is about Venice, your cheat sheet could be titled,
“Favorite Foodie Hideaways to Explore in Venice.”<br />
3. Do your sci-fi characters have their own language? Create a cheat sheet of words and their definitions. <br />
4. Create a checklist of “7 Most Romantic Places to Propose” that ties into your romance novel. <br />
5. Does your children’s book include a fairy as one
of the main characters? Create a cheat sheet of “What the 5 Most Famous
Fairies Can Teach Your Child.” (The Tooth Fairy, Tinkerbell, etc.)<br />
<br />
Include a short blurb about your book at the end, with a link to the sales page.</span> <span style="font-size: 1.25em;"><br />
<br />
Writers need to become familiar names on social media,
familiar in a good way. They can post encouraging comments on other
people's blogs, social media posts, etc. They can post reviews of other
authors' books on their blogs and the other authors' blogs. Posting bits
of information on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and other media helps to
build interest in the writer and in his/her topic. The more readers are
interested in a writer as a person, the more they will be interested in
reading the writer's book.<br />
<br />
I hope to share more tips about promoting and marketing in the future.</span></span></span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-37050787882461713092015-07-24T12:19:00.000-05:002015-07-24T12:19:03.542-05:004RV Glossary - the need for stable definitions<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="fullpost"> As I read articles about writing and publishing and attend sessions, workshops, and conferences about writing and publishing, I find confusing use of terms. For example, blurb and synopsis are sometimes used to mean the same thing. Now self-publishing and subsidy publishing are called by different names. Point of view suddenly switches from the three and subtext of one to the point of view of every character in a story. Other terms are interchanged at the whim or lack of knowledge of people. Therefore, I decided to put together a glossary of terms as accepted by 4RV Publishing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="fullpost"><br /></span></span>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Writing/Publishing
Terms According to 4RV – Glossary </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>A-format</strong><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">
Standard book format (TPS = 178 × 111mm), typically used for most mass
market paperbacks; (US: equivalent typical mass market size is called rack size).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="a-format"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="acquisition"><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><strong>Acquisition</strong></span></a><span style="mso-bookmark: acquisition;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Beginning of the publishing
process – agreeing the contract and purchasing the rights to publish a work. An
acquisition editor is the first to evaluate a submission.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="advance_copies"><strong>Advance
copies (Advances)</strong></a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: advance_copies;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">
Early finished copies of a book, arriving before the main print run and often
used for publicity purposes, reviews <em>etc</em>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="artwork"><strong>Artwork</strong></a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: artwork;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Any illustration or typeset
material suitable for reproduction. Often abbreviated to a/w. Generally applies
to physical material rather than computer files.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="bleed"><strong>Bleed</strong></a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: bleed;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Off-page area printed to allow
for minor inaccuracies in trimming. Generally anything intended to print right
up to the edge of the page is extended, and bleeds about 3mm beyond the
intended edge of the trimmed page area.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="blurb"><strong>Blurb</strong></a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: blurb;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> A short quote or text used to
promote a book, can be on the fly sheet or back cover, usually 1 – 2
paragraphs, doesn’t mean a summary of the book, nor does it give the ending of
the story.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="chapbook"><strong>Chapbook</strong></a></span><span style="mso-bookmark: chapbook;"></span><span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Also Chapter book. short
booklet, often a children’s book or book of poetry. Originally a small book or
pamphlet of popular, sensational, juvenile, moral or educational content sold
by street merchants, known as ‘chapmen’.</span></span></div>
<span style="mso-bookmark: a-format;"></span>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="copyright"><strong><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Copyright</span></strong></a><span style="mso-bookmark: copyright;"></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"> The right
to perform, reproduce, display, sell, transform into anoter medium or otherwise
use original work or other intellectual property that is expressed in text,
images, sound – a right enshrined in the Universal Copyright Convention (the
‘Berne Convention’, originally agreed in 1886 and subsequently revised by the
United Nations in Berlin in 1952 and in Paris in 1971). The copyright in a work
is held by the author or creator, and can subsequently be passed on (<em>eg</em>
to the author’s estate), or licensed or assigned to publishers (and others) in
a contract. Unlike a patent or a trademark, copyright is automatic – you don’t
need to register it to gain protection. Copyright in a work persists for up to
70 years after the death of the original creator, and prevents exploitation of
the work by those other than the copyright holder or a licensee. Certain
groups, <em>eg</em> VIPs, hold a copyright exception and can make copies for
their own use without obtaining permission.</span><br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="copyright_notice"><strong><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Copyright
notice</span></strong></a><span style="mso-bookmark: copyright_notice;"></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"> Every book should contain a copyright notice, usually
on the title verso, consisting of the copyright symbol ©, the date of
publication and the copyright owner. However, as copyright is automatic, this
isn't a necessity for any legal reason – it’s largely convention, and a
courtesy to those seeking permissions.</span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Cover
letter </span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(see Query, understand difference)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>A <strong><i>cover letter</i></strong> is
one page. It is what you attach to your email when submitting a book to agents
or publishers. It is included as a teaser only, introducing the title and
concept of your book, who you are, and why you are sending it to this
particular agent or editor (see what publisher requires in a cover letter).<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"></span><br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="e-book"><strong>E-book</strong></a> A book that is available in
electronic format for distribution over the internet and for reading on screen
(of a laptop, desktop computer, PDA, or a dedicated e-book reading device).
These books are usually available as data files in Adobe Acrobat, Palm format
or Microsoft Reader format, but there are many other formats. All include DRM
encryption to stop them from being copied and pirated.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Entrepenurial publishing<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Another term for self-publishing or Indie
pubishing.<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="house_style"><strong>House style</strong></a> 1) A guide for
spelling, punctuation, grammatical style and usage produced by a publisher to
help maintain consistency in copy-editing and proof-reading; 2) A standard text
or cover design.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>4RV style is found on
http://4rvpublishing.com.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Independent or Indie Publishing <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>An author or group of authors create their
own small press company to publish books from authors who are included in the
company. The members of group usually pay his/her own expenses.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lead editor <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>The main editor assigned to work with an
author to fine tune and edit a manuscript. The goal is to prepare the
manuscript for publication.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Manuscript <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>The text of a complete book submitted for
acquisition. <br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Pitch or
pitch tag <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A pitch is a
scheduled face to face opportunity with agents, editors, or publishers for an
author to create interest in his/her book. A pitch tag is the term sometimes
used for the sentence or two used to “hook” the agent, editor, or publisher.</span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Point of view</b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">First-person</span></b>
point of view is in use when a character narrates the story with <i>I-me-my-mine</i>
in his or her speech. The advantage of this point of view is that readers get
to hear the thoughts of the narrator and see the world depicted in the story
through his or her eyes, and only what the narrator sees, thinks, and hears.
The narrator is a character in the story.<b> Second-person</b> point of view,
in which the author uses <i>you</i> and <i>your</i>, is rare; authors seldom
speak directly to the reader. Second-person is generally used for directions
and instructions. <b>Third-person</b> point of view is that of an outsider
looking at the action. The writer may choose <i>third-person omniscient,</i> in
which the thoughts of every character are open to the reader, or <i>third-person
limited,</i> in which the reader enters only one character's mind, either
throughout the entire work or in a specific section. Third-person limited
differs from first-person because the author's voice, not the character's
voice, is what you hear in the descriptive passages: The narrator is not one of
the characters in third-person.<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"></span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Proof <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span class="tgc">Proofs are the
preliminary versions of publications meant for review by authors, editors, and
proofreaders, who end needed corrections to the formatter.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Query </span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A query is
used to present a proposal for possible submission. A query is usually sent for
nonfiction possibilities, to discover if an agent or publisher is interested in
the author’s idea.</span><br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="rack_size"><strong>Rack size</strong></a> US equivalent of A-format,
used for mass market paperbacks. Usually 6<span class="numerator">3</span>/<span class="denominator">4</span> × 4<span class="numerator">3</span>/<span class="denominator">16</span>ths inches.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Self-publishing
</span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">(also known as <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">entrepenurial </b>publishing)</span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Subsidy
Publishing <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Authors pay a subsidy publisher to provide editing,
art work, formatting, and printing.</span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Submission<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">The
attachments sent to an agent or publisher as requested in their guidelines to
be evaluated for a possible contract for publication</span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Synopsis
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">For
fiction, a synopsis is a page to two-page summary of a story, including the
ending (some agents, editors, or publishers will allow more than two
pages).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For nonfiction, the synopsis may
be an outline. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-3954043235597387602015-06-26T13:19:00.000-05:002015-06-26T13:19:00.227-05:00Post Script 1: Dealing with Grief and Sorrow<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Wy3T8gC7W7d79zuEs_njivQ8acxosONItsk5V2UlX8I3l1gGxCsN5NpogAkd-iXU-7qkSfGlb_vk5LIMY0jCe5HHcB4NBtWtGnwuTGW0n5zHURZMKpCNQjoRQgBAWD4nrVxUMkdDDLU/s1600/21100471-say-goodbye-mourning-and-grief-concept-with-the-hand-of-a-young-person-letting-go-an-elderly-senior-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Wy3T8gC7W7d79zuEs_njivQ8acxosONItsk5V2UlX8I3l1gGxCsN5NpogAkd-iXU-7qkSfGlb_vk5LIMY0jCe5HHcB4NBtWtGnwuTGW0n5zHURZMKpCNQjoRQgBAWD4nrVxUMkdDDLU/s1600/21100471-say-goodbye-mourning-and-grief-concept-with-the-hand-of-a-young-person-letting-go-an-elderly-senior-.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> I'm involved in a grief recovery program sponsored by Crossroads Hospice, the people who cared for Robert. I'll share what I learned when I finish and am able. Much of what I've learned so far is different from current thinking about grief and reovery.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> One thing I decided on my own is to find a notebook/journal to use for writing my memories of Robert. I'll not worry about writing those memories in a chronological order. I will just write them as they pop into my memory. I may share some; I might not. I simply feel I must make note of memories before they disappear. I have so many. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> I would like for others to share their memories of him with me, too. I have some that were read during the funeral, memories from a few friends and several relatives. Adding to the list of memories from others would be interesting and help keep Robert "alive."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"> In time, I'll return to blogging about other topics. In fact I'll cover some bits and pieces with my next post.</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-41455933344892888732015-05-26T19:03:00.003-05:002015-05-26T19:03:45.408-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 7<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf3bcisDeXS3XKX8G8OitipIp2YTUHS1SynLCh7ab3BLbfgIlpwubSA3GLbFiucnMBRHf7MmOf5KqlRinvpV63VHSRDDJDiX9hcCPSspmKKa3uXD5lXof24hCW5c7GrBd4jNdBazp106I/s1600/4135212-a-funeral-bulletin-with-a-single-red-rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf3bcisDeXS3XKX8G8OitipIp2YTUHS1SynLCh7ab3BLbfgIlpwubSA3GLbFiucnMBRHf7MmOf5KqlRinvpV63VHSRDDJDiX9hcCPSspmKKa3uXD5lXof24hCW5c7GrBd4jNdBazp106I/s1600/4135212-a-funeral-bulletin-with-a-single-red-rose.jpg" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bit by bit as we grieve, we also begin healing. Some of us
take longer than others. Some of us go forward and then slide backwards, which
is normal. However, the day comes when we realize our grief and sorrow has
become more bearable, not gone but at least more manageable most of the time.
Even if no time limit exists for grief, part of the process is to climb from
the hopeless pit of sorrow to a better place. Life will never be as before our
loss, but we must discover a new life, a new normal. But, how can we rebuild
our lives and recuperate from severe grief?<br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have had brief spells of normalcy since I loss Robert.
The first few weeks, those ordinary experiences were short lived, but they
occurred often. The sorrow hit more often and lasted longer. I wanted to find a
hole, climb into it, and pull the top to cover me. I began to want to peek out
more and more regularly. Today I actually want to live and go forward, without
any pretense. I realize I may, and probably will have, bad times and low days
ahead, but I know I will progress toward my new normal.<br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I also realize it is my responsibility to make myself climb
from the hole every time I drop into it. Yes, calls and visits from friends and
family help and are a necessity for my mental and emotional health, but I can’t
hide from life. I can’t expect someone else to “make” me happy. <br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Will everything be smooth and easy from now on? Of course
not. I would be delusional to believe grief is gone, because it is not. A poem
can bring pain. Seeing his picture causes my heart to give pause. However, I
know that I will survive. I will always miss Robert. I will always love him,
but he would want me to continue and enjoy the remainder of my life. I have the
hope that we will be together again someday. Therefore, how can I ensure that
my recovery will continue?<br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>According to NightingaleCenter.com, ten steps help in
recovering from grief:</span></div>
<ol start="1" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Remember there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve.
Some people are outward expressive of grief, others are private. Some
people want a lot of support and comfort while others need to grieve
alone.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grief takes as long as it takes. There are no time
limits on how long one “should” grieve. Each person’s sadness and
redefining life after a significant loss, is different. No one should tell
someone else, “Get over it, you have been sad long enough”.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grief “comes in waves and hides in pockets”. What this
means is that one day a person may feel fine and happy, and the next day
overwhelmed by sadness and frustration at their loss. “Out of the blue”
waves of distress may be confusing to those around a person grieving. They
may “start crying for no apparent reason”. This is a normal part of the
grieving process. The waves of sadness do get further apart and less
intense over time, but for a long while they may seem to, “just appear”.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The shortest way to the “other side” of grief is,
“through”. A person who tries to suppress their sadness about a loss will
eventually have to deal with the anger, sadness and unfairness of the
loss. The more unresolved and suppressed grief, the more a person’s life
will be emotionally restricted and their grief will come out in
“unconscious” ways at those around them. It is important to honor and
acknowledge grief and loss and the accompanying feelings, so these
feelings are not slipping out at unwanted times at other people or being
turned inward and causing physical illness.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grief has five stages. Denial (“it can’t really be
happening.”) Bargaining (“If only I had…” “If only he/she had…”) Anger (At
the one lost, at caregivers of the one lost, at oneself, etc.) Sadness
(depression, tears, discouragement, feelings of unfairness, etc.) and
Resolution (Finally understanding the loss was not about you and that you
will survive and possibly help other people out of that loss).</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Create an outward expression of what you are feeling
inside. This is also called “ritual”. When we ritualize a significant
emotional event it helps our mind find resolution. Writing a poem, taking
flowers, creating a memorial or something in honor of the person or your
time together can help in emotional healing.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Write. Journaling and putting your thoughts and
feelings on paper are very useful in going through the grieving process.
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it helps process emotions in a different way in the brain by putting words
to them.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Spend time with long-term friends and caring relatives.
Having some continuity in life is important. Being able to relive
memories, reconnect with the past and have a sense that you are not all
alone is important.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Do new things. Learn a new skill or take up a new
hobby. Find out about talent you never knew you had. Meet new people. Join
a grief support group or a new class. Add new dimensions into your life.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Reconnect with your spiritual side. Whatever you do to
remember that you are not alone and the world is not random are good
things to participate in. Reading inspirational materials, listening to
CDs or tapes of inspirational speakers. Attending church, temple, 12-step
meetings, and support groups, being in nature, or any place where you feel
connected to a “bigger picture”.</span></li>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many
of the preceding steps have been mentioned before about the stages of grief. Recoveryfromgrief.com
offers the following Grief Recovery Method: </span></div>
<ol start="1" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery from loss is
achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the
Griever. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery means feeling
better.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery is finding new
meaning for living, without the fear of being hurt again.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery is being able to
enjoy fond memories without having them turn painful.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery is acknowledging
that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk
about those feelings no matter how those around you react.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Most importantly, recovery
means acquiring the skills we should have been taught as a child. These
skills allow us to deal with loss directly. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recovery
from grief and sorrow is not quick nor easy. At times we may take two steps
forward and three back. One day our emotional sun may shine, and the next the
storms may wreak our serenity. Only by persisting in finding our way out of the
deep hole of grief can we recover.<br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Do
I have all the answers? No. Have I recovered from the stages of grief and the
emotional pain of losing my husband? No. Am I recovering bit by bit? Yes. I
know that in time, I will face each new day with a desire to make the most of
it. I’ll always remember, but in time, the memories won’t hurt as much, may
even become a comfort. Some day I will rejoice again, but not yet.</span></div>
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<![endif]--><br /><br />Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-67502845367939368182015-05-24T22:45:00.001-05:002015-05-24T22:48:27.749-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One
stage of grief not listed, except as a sub-effect on the seven stages list, is
loneliness. Since that is one of the most engulfing and long lasting effects of
the loss of spouse, I’m adding loneliness as one of the major stages of grief
and sorrow. Loneliness becomes a major portion of each and every stage of
grief. The empty feeling of needing someone to share our thoughts, our lives,
our needs, and our victories describes loneliness caused by the death of our
loved one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Loneliness
and solitude are not synonymous. One chooses solitude, but loneliness invades
us through an overwhelming sense of our loss. No, unless we become so lost in
our loneliness that we need professional help, the isolation doesn’t surround
us all the time, but we never know when it will hit or where.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Most
people do not know how to deal with the grief someone else feels. Our society
tends to be uncomfortable around people who grieve. We are expected to grieve
alone, behind closed doors as others go back to their lives. People may have
good intentions, but they forget to call or visit. Many, because they don’t
know what to say or do, hope someone else will help. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Understanding
friends and family members can make a big difference with just a bit of effort.
I have one friend who calls or texts me two three times a week. She comes by
once or twice a week for short visits. No, one person can’t fill all the empty
spots, but she helps so much. Another, newer friend, is alone, too, and she and
I have developed a closeness that helps both of us. The phone call and texts
from one of my great-granddaughters to check on me gladdened my heart and
brightened my days. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> One
of my former students has been so kind about helping. When I wanted to purchase
eggs from one of his children, he said that they would give me eggs, that his
children needed to learn compassion, and that the Bible says we are to care for
orphans and widows. He lost his mother, one of my closest friends, years ago,
and he understands. I wonder if parents are failing to teach their children compassion.
Are we so uncomfortable about death and grief that we “protect” our children from
understanding?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> I
have a strong faith, which gives me a strength that allows me to survive most
of the overwhelming, crushing loneliness. However, sometimes I don’t know if I
can endure being alone. An example, I won two awards in the Oklahoma Writers’
Federation, Inc. (OWFI) writing contest. Some friends and family told me how
glad they were I won, but I couldn’t really share what winning meant to me.
Robert would have been proud of me, as he so often was. I could have shared
with him, more than once, how I felt. Of course, he would have bragged at
dialysis. I miss having someone who cares so much about <i>me</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> In
our “fast” society, the prevailing attitude is, “get over it,” “get on with
your life,” “haven’t you taken long enough?” Only those who have lost their
spouse or another loved one understand that no time limit exists for grief,
especially for the loneliness caused by grief. We must overcome our lives being
torn to pieces, put the pieces together for a “new normal,” knowing that a
major portion of our lives is gone. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Allow me to share some suggestions for coping with
loneliness found on griefhealingblog.com:<br />
</span><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">
Think about who is supportive to you in your environment and what gives
your life purpose and direction (family members, pets, relatives, friends,
neighbors, co-workers, teachers, colleagues, clubs, athletic activities,
groups, church groups, support groups, bereavement counselor). With whom are
you most comfortable, and who is the most comfortable (accepting and caring)
with your grief? Look for those who will listen without judging you, or for
those who have suffered a similar loss.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Find time with others to talk, to touch, to
receive support. Be honest with others about what you’re feeling. Allow
yourself to express your sadness rather than masking it.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Don’t expect others to guess what you need.
When you want to be touched, held, hugged, listened to or pampered, say so. (A
suggestion from me to those who want to help: call, don’t wait to be called.)</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> If all you want from others is help with
simple errands, tasks, and repairs, say so.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Let others (especially children) know if and
when you need to be alone, so they won’t feel rejected.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Go somewhere and have a good, long cry— and
do it as often as you wish. You have every right to miss the person who has
died. Accept your feelings as normal.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Find time alone to process what’s happened:
to remember, to dream, and to think.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Identify your loneliest times, and think of
how you can alter your routines and environment (for example, rearrange the
furniture in a room; plan your weekends ahead of time; use your microwave for quick,
easy meals).</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> While some folks really are thoughtless and
don’t think before they speak, bear in mind that many well meaning individuals
have yet to experience a significant loss, so they really don’t know what grief
feels like, or how to respond, or what to say. They aren’t deliberately trying
to hurt you. You can choose to bear with such people, you can enlighten them
about what you know of grief, or you can look to others who are more
understanding to find the support you need.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Realize that no one can totally understand
the relationship you had with your loved one.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Ask people to remember, talk about and share
stories about your loved one with you.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large;"> Become more aware of how your own usage of
words affects other people. Rather than saying something hurtful, admit that
you don’t know what to say.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">·</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">
Consider getting a companion animal (which can be a wonderful source of
unconditional love), but only after you’ve investigated what kind of pet would
suit you and your lifestyle. (Note from me: I already have one, a seven-month-old
cat named Panther, who still searches the garage trying to find Robert.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Loneliness is a normal part of grief
and sorrow. However, if that feeling of isolation completely overtakes our
lives, we need to seek professional help. Even if we believe we are coping,
sometimes joining a group can help. I plan on joining a grief recovery program
this week, where attendees don’t sit around sharing sorrow and becoming even
sadder, but where we can learn ways to help us rebuild our lives. I know a part
of me is missing, and I know I will always have some loneliness. However, with
God’s help and the help of people who care, I will put the pieces back together
and have a new normal.</span></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-18359544739741526832015-05-22T13:42:00.002-05:002015-05-22T13:42:47.452-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheOjfhUsZyH8wj6HyQgWjlj0a3Onbmueky8cwIsFJCT5jm66zvu2dALE8wGFWxhqk-tNlEt4fLrRC61dZeyjUKKk-wrREnXeYfJOJHV3SXWpFJpW89oSy0wmXd3L4QUKWEBLJ1CeVuAdA/s1600/widow-grief-28940119.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheOjfhUsZyH8wj6HyQgWjlj0a3Onbmueky8cwIsFJCT5jm66zvu2dALE8wGFWxhqk-tNlEt4fLrRC61dZeyjUKKk-wrREnXeYfJOJHV3SXWpFJpW89oSy0wmXd3L4QUKWEBLJ1CeVuAdA/s1600/widow-grief-28940119.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span><br /> </span>According
to the <span>Kübler-Ross model, or the five
stages of grief, one of the stages is bargaining. I have a problem accepting
this as a phase of grief or sorrow when someone loses a loved one in death. We
can’t “bargain” to change the results after death. Any chance of change is
gone. Therefore, I’m skipping this step as a step a person experiences as a
loved one is ill, injured, or slipping toward death, rather than one
experienced after death.<br /></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>Next on all lists is depression. Depression occurs in
everyone who suffers a loss of any type, and the loss of a loved one definitely
causes depression, sometimes a mild case, sometimes a major case, but always an
emotion that comes with grief. Also, bouts of depression may come and go over a
long period of time. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>So, what is “normal” depression after a loss, and what becomes
a major problem? Everyone grieving has spells of crying, deep sadness, a
feeling of loss and confusion. However, most of us find a way to climb out of
the dark hole and function at least much of the time. Yes, we feel helpless and
hopeless at times, becoming less often as time passes, but we must find our way
out of the dejection back to our “new normal.” <br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;">A few ways to overcome the natural depression cause include:
1.<span> </span>find new interests or return to
previous interests <br />
2.<span> </span>enjoy memories of our loved ones <span> </span><br />
3.<span> </span>spend time with friends and family.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Indications depression might be a major problem:<br />
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">1.<span>
</span>Constant thoughts of being worthless or hopeless<br />
2.<span> </span>Ongoing thoughts of death or suicide
(other than thoughts that they would be better off dead or should have died
with their loved one)<br />
3.<span> </span>Being unable to perform day-to-day
activities <br />
4.<span> </span>Intense guilt over things done or not
done at the time of the loved one’s death<br />
5.<span> </span>Delusions (beliefs that are not true)<br />
6.<span> </span>Hallucinations (hearing voices or
seeing things that aren’t there), except for “visions” in which the person
briefly hears or sees the deceased <br />
7.<span> </span>Slower body responses and reactions<br />
8.<span> </span>Extreme weight loss</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The
article on the web site cancer.com suggests that if previous symptoms last more than two months
without any improvement, professional help may be needed.<br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Depression
isn’t a condition to be hidden or of which to be ashamed, but if we can’t work
our way out of our temporary times of depression due to loss, we need to seek
help.<br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I have
periods of depression, personal pity parties, I call them. I allow myself a certain
length of time to feel “down” and in some darkness, time to feel sorry for
myself: a day, a certain number of hours. I then make myself find something
constructive to do, even if it’s mopping floors. I may not be able to control
the timing of the bouts of depression, but I can control the amount of time
they last. No, not everyone can do what I do – part of the time, and I can’t
always set the length to any specific number of hours. However, I have learned
what to do to break that cycle. <br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Now, why
can’t we choose which effect of depression we want and time it to last just the
right number of pounds to lose? Laughter is a good way to break the depression cycle. </span></span></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-65802084105108479382015-05-20T00:30:00.000-05:002015-05-20T09:48:03.647-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3xtG1zM2Q9qwJdbOhyz-BgU8DJasV3-CcusjBv283-G4S0XknQyrrmawYnN5tyZWlWHuvQXbCdUqnUFsiJFzP8KJVEunChmM9nrpEwtXcsUX02TT1qgt5CeEhgCoNIhnJJEVnjHYHjY4/s1600/five-stages-grief-15967622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3xtG1zM2Q9qwJdbOhyz-BgU8DJasV3-CcusjBv283-G4S0XknQyrrmawYnN5tyZWlWHuvQXbCdUqnUFsiJFzP8KJVEunChmM9nrpEwtXcsUX02TT1qgt5CeEhgCoNIhnJJEVnjHYHjY4/s1600/five-stages-grief-15967622.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Second
or third on many lists of the stages of grief is anger. Probably the last thing
anyone would expect when grieving to become angry. However, anger and grief go
hand in hand. Being angry at the person who died because he/she left us, being
angry at God for allowing the loss, being angry at people who don’t help or who
don’t help the way we need – all the previous reasons and more result in an
unexpected fury. If we don’t examine our anger, its cause, and find a way to
deal with it, that anger can fester inside, remain, and destroy any peaceful
life we could have.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> First,
we must face the anger, which may strike without warning. The intensity may
shock us. How could we blame our loved one for dying, blame him or her? How
easy to blame God for not intervening? Why didn’t the doctor or the hospital do
more? However, sometimes the very “reason” for the anger may be surprising.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> I
thought I had no reason for anger, that the anger phrase would skip me, until
the day I dealt with bills. Suddenly, I shook with resentment and rage. Robert
could have cared enough to arrange for my future. He had chances but refused.
He had an opportunity to go to work at Tinker AFB when we had been married two
years. He would have begun at $15 an hour, which in 1964 amounted to a large
wage. He would have had regular raises in salary, an excellent pension, all
health care paid, and an easier life for himself. His excuse not to take the
position infuriated me then and returned in force, “I can’t stand having all
those people around me.” No matter how many times anyone told him he would only
work with a small group, he refused to believe or accept anything except “he”
would have to be around huge numbers of people. I went with him back to the
Oklahoma Panhandle and to a lower level of living. Years later, when working
for an oil field company, he had the opportunity to pay into a large life insurance
policy for a year, with his employer paying even more, which would be effect
for the rest of his life, giving his beneficiaries financial stability. He
refused, saying I would be able to care for myself. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> The
irritation and resentment frightened me. I forgave him so long ago and thought
I had put the incidents behind me. Knowing how frightened and insecure he was
when we were first married, I could understand his fear of taking the job.
Realizing that he couldn’t see the results of taking money we <i>needed</i> monthly to pay for something that
might never be needed, I forgave his refusal to accept the insurance. Yet, I
trembled with fury so many years later, and I had to accept the anger before I
could defuse it. Loving Robert for over 53 years, made forgiving again
possible. But, I must live with the fact I had become so alarmingly angry.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> We
stay most angry when overwhelmed and involved in our own pain and loss.
Therefore, finding an outlet for our thoughts and actions helps us deal with
the anger. Keeping a grief journal, writing poetry, writing our feelings,
painting our inner emotions: All are creative ways to deal with the grief and
anger. Becoming active in our churches, volunteering with the elderly or with
children could help.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Finally,
seeking help from a therapist, counselor, or pastor if we can’t handle our
anger is a step that may be needed. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> We
might consider ourselves immune to feeling anger when we lose someone, but, as
I did, the anger can and does attack when we are at our most vulnerable, during
grief.</span></span></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-47147096043814199932015-05-19T00:30:00.000-05:002015-05-19T00:30:02.231-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4pm7b6Un_WTC_uXi0rLwl1crf8Aowgd6htkxgkqpydzfAX8oCCrHQmb98UeHKUHo61TA0pZi_UUPgD5v3dHBVKjOGxqZ74OxvxwPR-7RFQ4GAV7-b-5ejOmKT3HO_mtehvlHSXRb2c0/s1600/grief-female-sad-adult-woman-home-depression-stress-36466942.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4pm7b6Un_WTC_uXi0rLwl1crf8Aowgd6htkxgkqpydzfAX8oCCrHQmb98UeHKUHo61TA0pZi_UUPgD5v3dHBVKjOGxqZ74OxvxwPR-7RFQ4GAV7-b-5ejOmKT3HO_mtehvlHSXRb2c0/s200/grief-female-sad-adult-woman-home-depression-stress-36466942.jpg" width="140" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> According
to different articles about dealing with grief and the stages of grief, pain is
either not listed as one of the steps or is listed second. However, for me pain
was first and always. The intense pain of loss has doubled me over, left me
sobbing as I hug a pillow, caused me to doubt my sanity. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Yes,
I smile, I laugh. I joke sometimes, but inside a background of heartache
remains. I know why bards, authors, and poets over the centuries wrote and sang
of heartache: The pain one feels when deeply hurt centers in the chest, and
that location remains the spot the pain resides. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Even
though we can’t erase the pain, although some people take refuge in medication
and/or alcohol, we can work through it, around it, and despite it. Of course,
pain may not leave us, in time it can lessen until we learn to live with it and
the unexpected waves that can hit from time to time forever. How can one deal
with this crippling pain? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> One
way is to face the anguish. Easy, no, but sooner or later, the pain must be
confronted, even if we want to do anything to dull it. Over medicating, depending
on alcohol, oversleeping, or jumping into other activities that sedate us with
distractions does not solve the problem. We can’t run hard enough or fast
enough to avoid the pain. Sooner or later it will catch us. However, we shouldn’t
wallow in the deep pain for an extended period of time. Doing so results in
self-pity and paralyzes us.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Next,
we need to “let the pain out.” Even if
we don’t normally cry much, we need to allow the tears flow. If we want to
throw something, we should, making sure we don’t hurt ourselves or anyone else.
Cleaning out closets, drawers, or cabinets gives physical and emotional
release. Taking long drives or walks, screaming at the top of our lungs
(somewhere we don’t startle others), making a book of memories – anything that
allows us to release the pain without hurting ourselves or others is
appropriate. We need to learn how to drawn on our inner emotional strength and
faith and to learn how to cope with the pain. I often offer a short inner pray
for strength throughout the day.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> One
idea given in most writings about dealing with pain is to share our pain with
others. The experts say it’s healthy to find people who will take care of us
when we suffer: friends, counselors, pastors. What those experts don’t say is
what to do when our suffering continues and no one wants to be bothered any
longer. That’s when I turn to writing. No, writing does not take the place of a
listening ear, but it’s better than brooding.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Also,
people who aren’t compassionate do not help us work through our pain. Some
people do not understand what we’re experiencing, even if they have lost a
loved one. Different people go through the stages of grief in a different order
than others do. Some take longer to work their way through a phrase. Most of us
go through some steps more than once. Therefore, if someone tells us, “I don’t
know why you’re not pass this stage by now,” or “I didn’t take this long,”
dismiss that person from your life until you don’t need a comforting shoulder. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Don’t
do anything while in pain that we may regret later. For example, keep mementos
that may be comforting later. We think we will always remember, but our
memories do fade. I have many photos of Robert, many keepsakes, but I do not
have a recording of his voice. I can’t remember the sound of his voice.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> We
do need to keep mementos out in the open if they are constant reminders of our
pain. Have a special box or other pace to store them.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> Finally,
don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to seek professional help if needed. If the
pain continues without abatement and seems to worsen, then asking for help is
required. Even in the midst of pain, we should have brief times of relief.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> The
pain of loss will never completely leave. My baby died over 46 years ago, and I
still have periods of pain from her loss. The pain has become muted and more
bearable over the years, but it never disappeared. Each loss we experience
changes our lives, and we have to find a way to live with the changes,
including the pain.</span></span></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-5443629264289696282015-05-17T10:41:00.000-05:002015-05-17T10:41:02.888-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsoTxwhIHy-hxa5olOTIcNVTNB5rFDNtlcgqa-s_irbkO3F7XUKHjcOkIF_WNe8RbFk7ItHK19jP8sZFVijzCJ5DROtvJwsYYIwjSyg-oeaAq2GiUQ4KLfeZ3PtJ7_0DBTuUltsRluS00/s1600/blonde-woman-despair-3427701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsoTxwhIHy-hxa5olOTIcNVTNB5rFDNtlcgqa-s_irbkO3F7XUKHjcOkIF_WNe8RbFk7ItHK19jP8sZFVijzCJ5DROtvJwsYYIwjSyg-oeaAq2GiUQ4KLfeZ3PtJ7_0DBTuUltsRluS00/s320/blonde-woman-despair-3427701.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>According
to the stages for recovering from grief and sorrow, the first step is denial
(number one by itself according to most lists), shock, and/or isolation. Of
course, different people encounter each phase in a different order than others
might. But, whether the first stage occurs immediately or months later, those
who suffer loss will suffer from denial, shock, and/or isolation sooner or
later. Often, the different “stages” revisit a person more than once, even for many
years after the loss.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>I
didn’t deny my husband’s death because he fought to live for years. In fact,
his passing was a relief in many ways since he had suffered for over a decade, and the
suffering increased month by month and day by day. However, when my baby died,
I couldn’t believe the news. An unexpected death increases the likelihood of
denial. The mind has trouble accepting the news. Every time I slept, I dreamed
I held my baby girl because my mind couldn’t or wouldn’t accept her death.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>Even
an expected death results in shock for the people left behind. Loss of a loved
one is traumatic, and the body reacts to trauma by armoring itself against the
emotional and physical pain: shock. We may react at first with great “wailing
and gnashing of teeth” and then withdraw inwardly behind the wall created by
shock; or the shock may set in immediately. Whichever way we react, shock numbs
us temporarily. During this stage, we are also vulnerable to illness and
depression because we don’t care enough to eat or meet our other physical needs.
<span> </span>For the first few weeks, I vacillated between
shock and tearing pain.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>Some
“experts” include isolation with this phase of grief. We may isolate ourselves,
a part of shock, or we discover after the first flurry of concern, others
return to their lives and aren’t concerned as much about us. Isolation is an
aspect I didn’t expect and have a problem accepting. If I were more physically
able, I would go out, join groups, visit friends, do more. However, one journey
to the store and I’m wiped out for days. Those who say, “If I can do anything,
call me,” don’t always mean what they say. They really don’t expect us to call.
Even friends who want to listen will tire of our calls. Friends and family will
check on us at first, but soon their busy lives take their attention and time. For
me, I no longer have Robert to listen to me, to talk to me. Even when he was
hospitalized and I couldn’t visit, we talked several times a day. Now, I hope to
receive a phone call or a short visit from friends or family, often waiting a week or more with none. I fight against
isolation becoming a permanent part of my life. <i>I </i>need to find ways to become
less isolated. I can't wait on others. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span> </span>We
never completely recover from grief and loss. We learn to live with it. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%;"> More
about the process in Part three, coming Tuesday, May 19.</span></span></div>
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-72895701481709553252015-05-16T00:30:00.000-05:002015-05-16T12:48:29.073-05:00Dealing with Grief and Sorrow Part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Some
articles state five stages of grief and loss exist, and others say seven do. Of
course, some are worded differently, but each covers mainly the same emotions. To
begin, let’s list the two variations:</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">5 Stages:</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Denial
and isolation</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Anger</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Bargaining</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Depression</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Acceptance</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; text-indent: 0.75in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">7
Stages:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> </span>
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Shock
and denial</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Pain
and guilt</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Anger
and bargaining</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Depression,
reflection, loneliness</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">The
upward turn</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Reconstruction
and working through</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-synthesis: weight style; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;">Acceptance
and hope</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> Both
number ones deal with denial, but the five stages adds isolation, and seven
adds shock. Both are correct, and I will discuss how we who grieve face all
three. Both lists have anger and bargaining, but five has them separate, and
seven combines them. Both have depression, and seven adds reflection and
loneliness. Both have acceptance, but seven adds two steps that lead to
acceptance and hope.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"> The stages do not always occur in
order. Some stages last longer than others. Grief and sorrow affect individuals
differently because of emotions, experiences. No one reacts like another
person. I wish to cover each step as I’ve experienced it, the order I took,
lessons I learned. I lost a baby girl, my parents, grandparents, and my reactions
for each loss were different. The hardest has been the loss of my husband, and I
will use that grief mostly in my blog entries for the next several posts,
hoping to help others that face a heartache so wrenching.</span></div>
<span class="fullpost"></span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-3192563928159290572015-05-15T14:42:00.001-05:002015-05-16T12:41:56.843-05:00Robert Lee Zabel, a sad goodbye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfua_b9xJXcDzYM0r75qoRzx0nKVS-EKtS3cFm2ZGJwN083yzfC5Tt2K6CH97xIbNQeMa9Q3nA1kBQAcdAozws1wALTFLK39VKtzwFcpFimR4mFgVIO8zUbCcxU4aefxCAZVXZV5hkhP0/s1600/Robert+in+new+chair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfua_b9xJXcDzYM0r75qoRzx0nKVS-EKtS3cFm2ZGJwN083yzfC5Tt2K6CH97xIbNQeMa9Q3nA1kBQAcdAozws1wALTFLK39VKtzwFcpFimR4mFgVIO8zUbCcxU4aefxCAZVXZV5hkhP0/s320/Robert+in+new+chair.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">March 31, 2015, Robert Lee Zabel left this life of pain and suffering. He fought a long, hard battle, but finally his heart gave up, even though his determination remained strong. His last words, ones he was able to articulate at all, were to me, "I love you." I spent the last few minutes of his life holding his hand, comforting him, telling him we would be together again soon, that I love him, to rest. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> As a memorial to my husband of 53 years, 41 days, I will blog about facing loss and grief. The next six to eight posts will cover how I work my way through the stages of grief and loss, how hard but necessary dealing with Robert's loss is. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I will post the first part of this series tomorrow. </span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-5626513486643032542015-02-10T17:52:00.001-06:002015-02-10T17:52:49.517-06:00Author Spotlight: Vivian ZabelThe following was posted on http://clcreviews.blogspot.com/ :<br />
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Tuesday, February 10, 2015</h2>
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<a href="http://clcreviews.blogspot.com/2015/02/author-spotlight-vivian-zabel-on-her.html">Author Spotlight - Vivian Zabel, on her award winning picture book, I Like Pink</a>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>Author Vivian Zabel</b> </span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>on her Award Winning title <i><a href="http://www.4rvpublishingcatalog.com/vivian-zabel.php">I Like Pink</a></i></b></span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>WHEN DID YOU FIRST KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE A WRITER?</b></span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">I
always told stories to my friends and siblings. The first time I shared
my desire to write, was at school when I was an eighth grader in
Morocco (my father was in the Air Force). I told a classmate I would
write a book some day. She laughed at me and ridiculed me about that
until my family returned to the states. I wish I could remember her name
and find her so I could "show" her now. </span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>AS A CHILD, WHAT DID YOU ASPIRE TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP?</b></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">I
wanted to be a teacher as well as a writer. I taught for 30 years, high
school mainly: English, writing, yearbook, newspaper, speech, drama,
and debate. In my early thirties, I began writing poetry, articles, and
short stories, which were published. </span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>HOW DID YOU GET THE IDEA FOR YOUR AWARD WINNING TITLE?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">After
the family Thanksgiving dinner two years ago, my three-year-old
great-granddaughter climbed on the sofa beside me. "Granny," she said,
"we need to visit." During our visit, she informed me, "You know, I like
pink: dark pink, light pink, even almost white pink." Discovering she
knew shades of colors existed gave me the idea for a book, not only
about colors, but about shades. The main character also has my
great-granddaughter's name, Haylee Rose.</span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>TELL US SOMETHING INTERESTING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A WRITER:</b></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">
The first book I wanted to have published concerned experiences family
members suffer when a child or children are "stolen." However, one of my
grandsons had a reading problem. I thought if I could find him some
books about athletics, his main interest, perhaps he might find he liked
to read. I couldn't find any for middle-school-aged and older boys,
other than a few boring biographies. So, I wrote one, </span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i>The Base Stealers Club</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">.
I know baseball, even helped coach the sport. I like mysteries, grew up
on Nancy Drew. I combined my two interests, wrote a book, mixed in some
black and white photos from some of my grandsons' baseball games, and,
voila, one book that did interest a reluctant reader. Then, I wrote a
sequel, Case of the Missing Coach. Not only did my grandson enjoy the
books, many other pre-teens and younger teens did, too.</span></div>
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<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>WHICH AUTHOR HAS MOST GREATLY INFLUENCED YOUR WRITING STYLE?</b></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">I
have always been a voracious reader, reading different genres,
different authors, and different styles. As a result, my style is a
mixture of that of many authors.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>WHAT BOOK HAS HAD THE GREATEST IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">When I read </span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i>Jane Eyre</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> by
Charlotte Bronte as a seventh-grader, I knew I wanted to be able to
write like Bronte. I wanted to bring characters alive, make readers hate
for the book to end, take someone out of reality into the world of a
book I wrote. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR GREATEST LITERARY ACCOMPLISHMENT?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Every time any of my writing won an award, I felt I had proof I accomplished something. Having</span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i> I Like Pink</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> win
the Children's Literary Classics Silver Seal gave me a thrill and a
sense of pride. However, when a librarian asked my grandson if he had
read his grandmother's book </span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i>The Base Stealers Club</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">, he answered, "Only three times," success was mine. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>CAN YOU DESCRIBE THE PROCESS OF BECOMING PUBLISHED AND ANY TIPS YOU MIGHT OFFER FOR OTHER ASPIRING AUTHORS?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">The
process of becoming published is arduous and often disappointing. The
main ingredients needed to succeed - determination and a thick skin.
Another aspect of the process includes a writer's continuing to learn,
improve, and refuse to give up. My pile of rejection letters and emails
would paper my office, and most authors have the same experience. All
submissions to 4RV Publishing, including submissions from company
officers and staff, are sent to acquisition editors anonymously. I was
rejected by my own company once. The head of the editorial department
asked if I wanted him to send the manuscript to another editor, and I
said no because the reasons given for the rejection were valid. I
learned what I needed to do, where problems with my writing existed.
Yes, rejection hurts; however, a good writer picks up the pieces, after
having a short pity party, and either improves the manuscript or puts it
aside to work on something else -- but he keeps writing, learning, and
improving.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>CAN YOU OFFER ANY ADVICE FOR WRITERS ON HOW BEST TO PROMOTE THEIR BOOK?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">I
wish I had good advice that wasn't expensive, but I don't. Of course,
some publishers help promote, but most promotion must be done by
authors. Entering competitions is one way to promote. Speaking at
conferences helps. Networking with other authors gives a writer support.
I attend writing conferences and all sessions dealing with marketing,
which gives me ideas. I don't have space to share some of those ideas,
but speaking with a marketing professional is a good idea.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?</b></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Becoming
a good writer requires learning how to be a better writer, through
reading, workshops, and conferences. I taught writing for thirty years,
but I attended workshops and writing clinics every one of those years,
often two or three a year. I still attend at least two writing
conferences a year. If we, as writers, don't continue to learn and
improve, we begin to die.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">WHAT OTHER BOOKS HAVE YOU PUBLISHED? </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">All can be found or ordered through any bookstore or from Amazon as well as through the links provided.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Young Adult books:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i><a href="https://sitebuilder.homestead.com/%7Esite/builder/stage.jsp?pageId=x417574686f722d53706f746c696768742e787066#" rel="http://www.4rvpublishingcatalog.com/zabel-ya.php Prairie Dog Cowboy http://www.4rvpublishingcatalog.com/zabel-ya.php" target="_self">The Base Stealers Club and Case of the Missing Coach</a></i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Suspense and mainstream novels:</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i><a href="https://sitebuilder.homestead.com/%7Esite/builder/stage.jsp?pageId=x417574686f722d53706f746c696768742e787066#" rel="http://www.4rvpublishingcatalog.com/zabel---novels.php " target="_self">Midnight Hours</a></i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i><a href="https://sitebuilder.homestead.com/%7Esite/builder/stage.jsp?pageId=x417574686f722d53706f746c696768742e787066#" rel="http://www.4rvpublishingcatalog.com/zabel---novels.php" target="_self">Stolen </a></i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW BOOKS IN THE WORKS?</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Yes, I'm working on a historical novel, </span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i>Burnt Offering</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><b>TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR NEXT BOOK:</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">During
the 8th Century BC, King Ahaz of Judah followed the idol Moleck, and
he, along with others, sacrificed their children by burning them alive.
Women during those days were considered property and had little to no
say or control over their own lives. The question that kept popping in
my mind wouldn't let me forget the topic, "What would I have done as a
mother during that time period?" </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">Little
information of that time period exists, but my imagination took the
research I found and turned it into a story of treachery, mystery, and
struggle to survive. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, 'Arial Narrow'; font-size: 1px; line-height: 1px;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;"><i>Burnt Offering</i></span><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; min-height: 16px;">,
hopefully, will be finished by next summer and submitted. Until the
novel is accepted, I will have no idea when it will be available.</span></div>
<br />
LITERARY CLASSICS Book Awards & Reviews
International Book Awards • Top Honors Youth Book Awards • Seal of Approval
http://www.clcawards.org
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-65437581055189674992014-07-14T18:50:00.000-05:002014-07-14T18:50:21.274-05:00Blog focus to be limited to 5 categories<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh42_OFAcBA2LQESd4rkwuvEFfIvFBCAh0H4sGJXEM_0LWxkzyEpAzX8enOX69xhLsX4C7zNCVcmzySRQsjbRluo4-oVVJELeiNcVebn13m0F1ZSq3vrt0TLosqcHjWFOu7k8J4wFsnq0/s1600/August+2014+calendar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh42_OFAcBA2LQESd4rkwuvEFfIvFBCAh0H4sGJXEM_0LWxkzyEpAzX8enOX69xhLsX4C7zNCVcmzySRQsjbRluo4-oVVJELeiNcVebn13m0F1ZSq3vrt0TLosqcHjWFOu7k8J4wFsnq0/s1600/August+2014+calendar.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Beginning the first of August, 2014, this blog will cover five (5) categories: 1.Crime, 2.History/Research, 3. Behavior, 4. Conferences/Festivals, and 5. Odds 'n Ends. All previous posts can still be found in Archives.<br />
<br />
Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-29090236517990738222014-05-25T21:16:00.002-05:002014-05-25T21:18:54.995-05:00Importance of Reviews<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeNLlWejCWVNd78hc0JNB8-wFhsWSwEyFzcrROfRHWjBLNRQhsneucU_gfvXPrd5pmUQNPBZ5yVjhCTOkLgtkayrsE6982VeFXNB2mAPQ3azmNw0g2JFBtKE7U-8Fc2OfPRWD8CB48_E/s1600/Galand+makes+Vvivian+laugh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeNLlWejCWVNd78hc0JNB8-wFhsWSwEyFzcrROfRHWjBLNRQhsneucU_gfvXPrd5pmUQNPBZ5yVjhCTOkLgtkayrsE6982VeFXNB2mAPQ3azmNw0g2JFBtKE7U-8Fc2OfPRWD8CB48_E/s1600/Galand+makes+Vvivian+laugh.jpg" height="200" width="122" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I have read and heard that a good review, or several good reviews, can help boost a book's appeal to readers. I have written many reviews, myself, over the years, some even for important, well-known authors. Reviews sent me or published in a paper about one of my books, I have treasured and kept. However, I've never kept up with reviews on Amazon for my books. I mean, my books don't sell extremely well, and I thought that any reviews were probably few and far between. I wasn't even curious, until last night.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> True, the reviews were few for each of my main four books (<i>Stolen</i>, <i>Midnight Hours</i>, <i>Prairie Dog Cowboy</i>, and <i>I Like Pink</i>), but the reviews sent me a message from the readers.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> For example, let me share two excerpts from reviews of <i>Stolen</i>:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stolen crafted by Vivian Gilbert Zabel is the proverbial page turner
done with sensitivity and emotions that will keep you wanting more." </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead">"Zabel pens a taunt, edge of your seat thriller with 'Stolen'." </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead"> Reviews about <i>Midnight Hours</i> included the following snippets: </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead">"Once I started reading about the mysterious and treacherous Midnight, an
online predator who targets disabled men, I couldn't put the book down."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead">"</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Zabel has created a fast moving plot with characters you come to care
about, a satisfying romance, and suspense that keeps you reading.
Readers of crime fiction will appreciate Zabel's latest novel and will
be hoping for more. I love a good murder mystery. I recommend this one
highly for readers who are looking for interesting and believable
characters, a tension filled plot, and a realistic setting."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> My young adult novel <i>Prairie Dog Cowboy</i>, which appeals to older readers as much as to the young, also had a few favorable comments:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The author has a talent for speaking to her readers and putting them in
the middle of the story, as if they're actually riding the range or
breaking horses with Buddy and his friends."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I got so interested in the book that I just wish it would have continued
and told us about Buddy as a mature man. Good book I can recommend for
all age groups."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Finally, I'll share a couple of excerpts for <i>I Like Pink</i>, my first children's book:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>I Like Pink</i> is a book with which many little girls will relate.
Expressive illustrations are a wonderful complement to this book, which
will educate and entertain little girls ..."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My daughter loves this book. It is her absolute favorite." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead"> The reviews were all good, even if the ratings weren't all 5 Stars. They let me know that I'm doing my job as a writer, that I'm keeping the readers wanting more, wanting to read my work. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead"> Even if you haven't read my books, please go to Amazon and read the reviews. Who knows, they may create a desire for you to read one or more. IF you have read one or more of my books, would you please write a review or reviews? If you do, I'll know more about how readers accept, enjoy, or don't, my books.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="MHRHead"> Yes, using reviews as indicators of my success in addressing my audience is the best use of reviews. </span></span></div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-19340135931406004862014-05-20T19:24:00.001-05:002014-05-20T19:24:30.183-05:00Poetry Winner 2014<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFimvmYFUaiorpCbjlxa9V_IEKfOz1iabcVf7ZZOm_vRlif-z4J47I33JQEXvZ_6_DN_TarvvY9lKUCl4KCv4Vh-aLkhdIHJROD7sxJr3C8_jotYuZFl_lo-n5haU_PuRMxpNHB9-1WFI/s1600/SAM_2757.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFimvmYFUaiorpCbjlxa9V_IEKfOz1iabcVf7ZZOm_vRlif-z4J47I33JQEXvZ_6_DN_TarvvY9lKUCl4KCv4Vh-aLkhdIHJROD7sxJr3C8_jotYuZFl_lo-n5haU_PuRMxpNHB9-1WFI/s1600/SAM_2757.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I read my poetry as part of the award luncheon</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> The Oklahoma Department of Human Services, Department of Aging, holds a conference each year on aging. As part of the conference, a poetry contest is held earlier in the year. Winners are honored at a luncheon Friday of the conference. This year, my poem "Tapestry" took 3rd place in the women's division. All the poetry entered, over 100 poems from all parts of Oklahoma, was published in a book and given out at the conference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> For those who have asked to read my poem, here it is, a tribute to a marriage lasting over 52 years, and one that may end any time when one of us leaves the other as we vowed, "until death do us part." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tapestry</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">by Vivian Zabel</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a sun peeking o're the horizon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">spills streams and sparks of fire</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">into the tint of night sky,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">love pours light into a dark life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bubbles of joy burst, erasing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the deep sorrow of loneliness,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">leaving pools of calm, of peace</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">mingled with shards of broken storms.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A baby's cry, children's laughter,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sobs of despair create a mosaic</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">held together with blooms and thorns,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">silky softness joined with ragged roughness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hand clasped in hand join two</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">whose hearts entwine with one beat,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">lasting year after year together</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">through eternity, even after death.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgms7pF42NgrgJ0ulIcXCCepP1lCIKRCRiC4SyVr6vWec7ok19vRzJWQcCBZPhPmW1JHlfi8JOr2-ow1VrnExzeSDfvxSFz5JeSNcVGilpy8qcqpmbUXhVL4KY0ExTyOCxTpl3Gt-6xYs/s1600/SAM_2762.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgms7pF42NgrgJ0ulIcXCCepP1lCIKRCRiC4SyVr6vWec7ok19vRzJWQcCBZPhPmW1JHlfi8JOr2-ow1VrnExzeSDfvxSFz5JeSNcVGilpy8qcqpmbUXhVL4KY0ExTyOCxTpl3Gt-6xYs/s1600/SAM_2762.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Receiving my award</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-25487369379492002982014-03-06T15:32:00.002-06:002014-03-08T20:28:32.996-06:00I have something to brag about:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i> </i>I may not be considered for book awards in my home state. I may not be considered anyone of importance in the local writing community, but my first published picture book was considered good enough to earn Literary Classics Seal of Approval. Yea!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Below the copy of the book cover with the seal shown is the review from Children's Literary Classics, and below the review a book trailer by Aidana WillowRaven.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrjGMWYmmnroGB59cpmZkTB8WybQMeC8hK4aUi05Rn9ve-Kq8ol9fEQzV8RRc9Gph-nf5SgU74oajKbgQ-A0R4O4nPW_ee1Njf0xBreGyz-0VB6kN7J1JAYKowY2ElyxuzBoQRqxsbXWWF/s1600/I+Like+Pink+with+Seal+of+Approval-150+rez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrjGMWYmmnroGB59cpmZkTB8WybQMeC8hK4aUi05Rn9ve-Kq8ol9fEQzV8RRc9Gph-nf5SgU74oajKbgQ-A0R4O4nPW_ee1Njf0xBreGyz-0VB6kN7J1JAYKowY2ElyxuzBoQRqxsbXWWF/s1600/I+Like+Pink+with+Seal+of+Approval-150+rez.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>I Like Pink</i>, by Vivian Zabel, is the story of a little girl who is on a quest for the perfect pink dress. While shopping with her mother, she considers countless dresses that are all made from fabric in varying shades of pink. At first she is bemused, and a little frustrated, with all the different colors. But as the sales-clerk and her mother help her to understand that pink can come in many varying shades, she comes to realize and accept that she likes all kinds of pink. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>I Like Pink</i> is a book with which many little girls will relate. Expressive illustrations are a wonderful complement to this book, which will educate and entertain little girls who are fans of the color pink.
<i>I Like Pink</i> earns the Literary Classics Seal of Approval. </span></div>
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LITERARY CLASSICS Book Reviews & Awards <a href="http://literaryclassicsreviews.com/">http://literaryclassicsreviews.com</a>
<span class="post-author vcard">Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11547797315751964697" rel="author" title="author profile"> <span itemprop="name">Literary Classics</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://www.clcreviews.blogspot.com/2014/03/i-like-pink-by-vivian-zabel-earns.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2014-03-01T15:36:00-08:00">3:36 PM</abbr></a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="post-timestamp"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2014-03-01T15:36:00-08:00"> Enjoy the trailer created by Aidana WillowRaven:</abbr></span></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/DVM6EGukfSE" width="420"></iframe>
<span class="post-timestamp"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2014-03-01T15:36:00-08:00"> </abbr> </span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-19121118966019571782013-11-15T10:37:00.000-06:002013-11-15T10:37:18.042-06:00How to Describe Deep Emotional Pain<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> When writing or living, at times a person suffers emotional pain, a deep shearing hurt. When living the hurt, words can't describe the agony, but when writing about the pain, the writer must find words.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> However, after having someone loved deliver to a writer a spat of words, oversight, or action that tears the heart, a writer might try to find a way to describe the physical manifestations suffered to him or her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 1. Pain and crushing weight in the chest.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 2. Stomach tied in knots, yes, not a cliche but for real.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 3. Brain whirling.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 4. Feeling of suffocation.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 5. Weakness </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 6. Vision blurred</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 7. Desire to run, to move, to leave</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 8. Overwhelming need to cry: deep, tortured sobs that rip a person apart</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> 9. Wanting to strike out, to hit a wall, kick a footstool, take physical action</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost">10. Sick, nauseated. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost">11. Want to crawl in bed and stay there forever.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost">12. Feeling hopeless and lost</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Now, if I ever need to write about a person suffering a deep, agonizing, emotional pain, I have a starting point.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> </span></span>Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-27475066344547484022013-10-26T18:16:00.001-05:002013-10-26T20:26:18.055-05:00Looking forward to Holidays<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0hM-H_RKuhckY7pStb3bhb7Pb71kc4wGt2-PMLSHT2UXoWjBj43CaCEyv05TCcGCMXkq9cAgFsaIVmcKx6HkxgsPihGhd3ohdNT9RJK3TNiGvGpxinGDLlHAPQGZxg7eT0DplHxf8RJA/s1600/Happy+Thanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0hM-H_RKuhckY7pStb3bhb7Pb71kc4wGt2-PMLSHT2UXoWjBj43CaCEyv05TCcGCMXkq9cAgFsaIVmcKx6HkxgsPihGhd3ohdNT9RJK3TNiGvGpxinGDLlHAPQGZxg7eT0DplHxf8RJA/s320/Happy+Thanksgiving.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> A week from tomorrow, we "fall" back an hour, to me the beginning of the fall/winter holiday season. Thursday will be Halloween, and I have a bowl of goodies ready to give to little ones (and some probably not so little) as they come to my door. Robert has some candy to pass out if tricker-treaters come to visit him. I remember when I had most of my Christmas shopping finished by Halloween so I could enjoy the holiday seasons and not scramble to find gifts for all the family. Oh, yes, I remember because now I do well to shop anytime for any reason. But, I still like the idea. However, Halloween signals preparation for Thanksgiving. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Thanksgiving this year is unclear: Will there be a family get-together? Where? When? Bob and his crew will be in Oklahoma the week of Thanksgiving, so we'll surely see them. Usually Randy and Janelle host a family dinner. I no longer am able to host a dinner, do well to provide a meal for myself. No, no pity, just the facts of life. I know since Robert can't leave the skilled nursing facility I'll be spending most of Thanksgiving Day with him. He needs company, especially on a holiday. I understand that Grace Living Center holds a big celebration for the residents and their families. Wonder if some of our family can join us? We'll have to ask. Thanksgiving is important to me because I believe we all need to pause and realize what God has given us, and to give thanks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> A month after Thanksgiving comes Christmas. Robert will be on long-term care and can leave the center for the day during that time period. Therefore, he can be driven in his van to a family dinner. Once we know what the family plans are, we can make our plans.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tPNydnmYYCpsBeZAuBSWhkRCwV5HivGwvz81o4zn8hDSedLa6T2Ha3UerD57F5s5uPt8SbCQ-xFByrbe41fOOwvzIv3yljEPE-AMz15k4NpxRDCYzSyyAfirosHd1hT3Tl6iSwn7GFo/s1600/FirePlaceChristimas.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9tPNydnmYYCpsBeZAuBSWhkRCwV5HivGwvz81o4zn8hDSedLa6T2Ha3UerD57F5s5uPt8SbCQ-xFByrbe41fOOwvzIv3yljEPE-AMz15k4NpxRDCYzSyyAfirosHd1hT3Tl6iSwn7GFo/s320/FirePlaceChristimas.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> For me, Christmas has always meant family being together. Of course gifts are nice, symbols of sharing with those we love, but expensive gifts that place a person in debt is not the spirit of Christmas. As we have gotten older, we can't afford much anyway, but I like to give a little something to "show" those I love that I love them enough to want to share with them, even if only a card or a photo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I have begun to shop for Christmas. As I've seen something I think someone will like or could use, I saved and bought. No, I didn't buy a grandchild a new car or a new wardrobe, much as I would like sometimes. However, I found something Robert could use with his power chair (his poor, worn out power chair, oh, for the funds to replace that). I discovered something for one of the kids. I have an idea what to obtain for another grandchild. Not much, but a token of what those people mean to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> When I was a child, my parents were poor. At the time I never realized how poor, after all my dad was in the service, but ... Christmas was always special, and my parents made sure my brothers, sisters, and I had at least one special gift. My dad read Christmas stories to us on Christmas Eve, ending with the Bible story. We sang Christmas carols and hung our stockings before heading for bed. Robert didn't have any family traditions because Christmas wasn't treated as anything except another day other than having a good meal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I tried to pass some traditions to my children, but after they became adults with families of their own, they soon adopted the traditions of their own or from the other side of their growing families. One tradition we started seems still to exist: new pj's opened on Christmas Eve. With our children, the new sleepwear was from Daddy, for grandchildren, from PaPa. I hope even after he's gone, that the families will continue the practice with the pj's for children from their daddies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> This season beginning in a few days brings happy memories and a few of sorrow. To me, though, enjoying family and remembering all for which I should be thankful and giving praise for the symbol of Christmas is most important.</span></div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6349012017649158447.post-35703279740073665302013-10-16T13:43:00.000-05:002013-10-16T13:43:01.621-05:00Turning Pages Children's Book Festival<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicfXyb7L1iw87sPCrYCSdjjb21s8X_jGJSqodr3CRX3OVoJhpDXjiVt9nzMlLDxNnUDEI6QGuTc4r8gnlGMfd1suNbDdYRCsJyhL14WJx-ys_YvSNwZ8F2f8n3dPCq0dV9KIJ4IhGBPYI/s1600/booth+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicfXyb7L1iw87sPCrYCSdjjb21s8X_jGJSqodr3CRX3OVoJhpDXjiVt9nzMlLDxNnUDEI6QGuTc4r8gnlGMfd1suNbDdYRCsJyhL14WJx-ys_YvSNwZ8F2f8n3dPCq0dV9KIJ4IhGBPYI/s320/booth+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Jacque Graham and I presented at the first Turning Pages Children's Book Festival in Ada, Oklahoma, October 11-12. With the presentations, the event combined a conference with a festival.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Krystal Russell, the founder of the festival, had some great ideas. Now, with a few tweaks and some help, the festival should evolve into one everyone with children's books should support. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> On Friday, schools from two neighboring towns brought buses of 7th and 8th graders to participate in games, workshops, and browse "booths" of books. Many of the students didn't grasp the concept that they could buy books, but several did and had funds with them. </span></span></div>
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<span class="fullpost"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrSGLu27MnkmpUO89gn04-6VIpm1QtR-boPY21-j_MWdSU3ZTeb8cC9kt0yq837poO8AiweYYhGP_CeERu5VxNjAWoySF9lYykbl37oJwmFsF6tHrVY_bOscFDdbM1lndXuhcikDK_NA/s1600/Vivian+doing+workshop+on+plot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrSGLu27MnkmpUO89gn04-6VIpm1QtR-boPY21-j_MWdSU3ZTeb8cC9kt0yq837poO8AiweYYhGP_CeERu5VxNjAWoySF9lYykbl37oJwmFsF6tHrVY_bOscFDdbM1lndXuhcikDK_NA/s320/Vivian+doing+workshop+on+plot.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span class="fullpost"> My workshop, Building Blocks for Plot, had over 40 students plus teachers and other supervising adults. The students sat listening during the informative part of the workshop. During their writing time, they became typical kids, but they didn't become too unruly. In fact, I wish I had had classes as well-behaved. Each was to write one to three paragraphs to begin a story. They read their work to the group for the last twenty minutes of the session, and some had excellent work. The students showed great imagination and a desire to write. Many told me later that they learned so much and thanked me.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRx1x8mLHqYEz2a216Fv0lJPjVoIhpjEIm00cQVmRyxVXLneKLrLYN9hJRATfp5Yw-3uwHq4Gkb3YUtIN8Y8NFFinhXW0WL4rvvy5FJx_-EUSX839mTVyKnmFvcOHTiG1CpSrUgx-NrZw/s1600/Jacque+doing+Belle+Cobb+presentation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRx1x8mLHqYEz2a216Fv0lJPjVoIhpjEIm00cQVmRyxVXLneKLrLYN9hJRATfp5Yw-3uwHq4Gkb3YUtIN8Y8NFFinhXW0WL4rvvy5FJx_-EUSX839mTVyKnmFvcOHTiG1CpSrUgx-NrZw/s320/Jacque+doing+Belle+Cobb+presentation.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Jacque Graham presented her monologue as the main character of her work-in-progress, Belle Cobb, the first Indian woman doctor in Indian Territory. The students enjoyed her presentation and want to know when the book is available. Again, the behavior and attentiveness of the students amazed us.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8roXjti6mnUITOXyetBupK6BfaTTxSSeEWntDYVRWv58BbLriX35jq8P81UQ7oFB-GwKNj6W1eI6l1U4y6i0HjpqId53-l0Noqj7KC8oV7vL2R3y2-qN4_WIDNDO9-YTEGD58F3gzMTk/s1600/booth+from+right+side+w+Jacque.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8roXjti6mnUITOXyetBupK6BfaTTxSSeEWntDYVRWv58BbLriX35jq8P81UQ7oFB-GwKNj6W1eI6l1U4y6i0HjpqId53-l0Noqj7KC8oV7vL2R3y2-qN4_WIDNDO9-YTEGD58F3gzMTk/s320/booth+from+right+side+w+Jacque.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> The books we sold came from this side of the 4RV tables, all except one. One boy so liked <i>A Wandering Warrior</i> by Harry E. Gilleland that he had his mother come back and purchase a copy for him. The girls preferred <i>A Shadow in the Past</i> by Melanie Robertson King, and a few debated between it and some of the others.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Many students took cards and bookmarks with the company information printed on them. Hopefully they will encourage their parents to visit our online bookstore.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevPZJfzJKQNgDI0eTXzc4c8ahnjBET5KqPBMQXwyREv7IOwqjSe55sBJ2tgRlGJwKJu51apm3QQXgE7j64dlPaVU59WL3vhuqo_4JKJ30ZibeC07rdfX5u0JCVQ6DeidNR3NMQLZAINk/s1600/Jacque+behind+left+side+of+booth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevPZJfzJKQNgDI0eTXzc4c8ahnjBET5KqPBMQXwyREv7IOwqjSe55sBJ2tgRlGJwKJu51apm3QQXgE7j64dlPaVU59WL3vhuqo_4JKJ30ZibeC07rdfX5u0JCVQ6DeidNR3NMQLZAINk/s320/Jacque+behind+left+side+of+booth.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Saturday, we saw two families come by, and no one else found us. The publicity promised didn't come out until then. However, 4RV did sell one copy of <i>Trockle</i>. I do believe this festival is one that should be supported and encouraged to continue.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="fullpost"> Two more photos for your enjoyment:</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikpOZlpGm82jnuBYO05dM3IZb8ZWzGhXNFGLkbajsLtGQrPMw8PUOqAZSdH0XK-kXe3G013qjCetHPEca_u0onnnkrTkTRKX8lcYuOBqlm4sJHdHS7qpei0cEtR0LS7kpxsQQ9Hxaf5ZQ/s1600/Vivian+behind+booth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikpOZlpGm82jnuBYO05dM3IZb8ZWzGhXNFGLkbajsLtGQrPMw8PUOqAZSdH0XK-kXe3G013qjCetHPEca_u0onnnkrTkTRKX8lcYuOBqlm4sJHdHS7qpei0cEtR0LS7kpxsQQ9Hxaf5ZQ/s320/Vivian+behind+booth.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Vivian Zabelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06129178812565073972noreply@blogger.com3