Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts

Friday, October 17, 2008

Life goes on

Yes, life goes on, some times even when we don't know why or how. Brain cells don't always help, just a thick layer of bubble wrap.

A dear friend of mine fought cancer for nearly three years, and I do mean fought. She wasn't the first, just the latest, who left friends and family behind. As I attended her memorial service Tuesday night, I remembered the last time I visited with her.

Judy had gone to stay with her daughter in south Texas. She was unable to care for herself, and of Judy's four children, Jonna was the one who was able to be with her.

I called about a month ago, and Jonna held the phone to Judy's ear. Some moans and struggling sounds were all I could hear because my friend couldn't talk. However I told her I loved her and I said my goodbye's, telling her I'd see her again some day. Jonna told me that Judy smiled and understood me and that she tried to talk so badly. I cried that day for my friend, knowing I'd never be able to talk to her again or see her again, at least on this earth.

Judy held on for three weeks, unable to eat, most of the time in a comma. Her daughter and son-in-law went to bed each night expecting to see her gone when they awoke each morning. The morning before Judy died, Jonna went to her room and, as always, asked, "How are you, Mom."

Judy smiled and answered, "I'm fine." Her first words in such a long time. For the rest of the day, she was without pain. In the wee hours of the next day, she no longer felt pain of any kind.

At the memorial, I held Judy's youngest two daughters as they cried. Justina, the next to the youngest, introduced me as her second mother. Tonnie, the wife of Judy's only son, gave me a beautiful embroidred hanky, created by her to give to the special people in Judy's life.

I sit here crying again, but even though I'll miss her, I know she's fine now. Life goes on for her family and friends, just missing an important component. But Judy's smile and laugh will be with us forever.

Judy was my friend and always will be. I'll be fine, too, just don't want to lose any more friends. True friends are few and far between.