Sunday, December 29, 2019

Here comes 2020

      I've been fighting with time flying by and editing and writing and health and ... well, I've not been promoting or keeping up with my blog. Shame on me.

      I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and are prepared for a good 2020. I don't do resolutions, but I set goals. 
      My first goal is to complete a novel I began over 35 years ago (that ages me, huh) and just found last week. I had typed a few pages on my old Royal standard typewriter, and the rest is in longhand. I never finished the book, but as soon as I read what I finished, the whole story returned to my mind. I will update my progress as I work my way to the finish of Violent Cycle.
      As a child of a man who had a temper he couldn't control, or wouldn't, I know the fear and helplessness felt by those who suffered from violence. Later, I learned that my dad was bipolar, which called manic-depressive then, which didn't help his self-control. As a result, I vowed not to abuse my children, if and when I had any, but I didn't know how to avoid hurting them. I knew enough to realize child abuse passed from generation to generation, and I did not want to continue the pattern.
      I prayed many times for a solution during my teen years. Then, an answer came: Never touch a child if I were angry. So when the time came I had children, I sent them to their rooms if I were angry because of something one did or was angry about something else. When I controlled myself, I dealt with the child and the situation. I tried to be a good mother, but I found other ways to fail (another story).

      My husband also came from an abusive home, but his situation was much worse than mine. He tried so hard not to be physically abusive, but he developed Parkinson's which often includes a horrible rage -- Parkinson's rage, but no one warned us about that until long after we discovered it through experience. I would often place myself between him and a child. My husband didn't know why he had this explosive rage, but he did begin to recognize when it began to build. When he felt the start of the anger, he went off by himself until the rage passed, but by then, the damage had been done. Understanding and forgiving doesn't erase the scars left behind.
     As a result, I have an interest in destroying child abuse. The novel concerns how and why the problem continues through a family line. 

     I will share other goals for 2020 in the upcoming weeks.

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